Getting and Keeping Control to Better Prepare for Your Divorce and Life Thereafter

A well written article suggests there are 7 steps that you need to follow so you can control your life.  http://greatist.com/grow/what-you-can-control-for-happiness-success?utm_content=buffer2e0cd&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkedin.com&utm_campaign=buffer.  the title of the article, The Only 7 Things you Can Control in Life is a little misleading.  Putting that aside, it’s an interesting article and well worth the read.

If you haven’t experienced a divorce, you should know that going through one is very stressful – for everyone.  And I might venture to add that going through a divorce for the second and third time is stressful as well.  You get stress from your soon to be divorced spouse, from your children, from your parents, from your in-laws (soon to be out-laws), from the adversary and even from your lawyer (and their staff).  There are paperwork requirements that you must do, answering what appear to be silly and unnecessary questions and forms after forms to read and sign.

judge alimony awardThe article stresses you taking control by staying focused and breathing.  Easier said than done right.  You want to be in control and not have a Judge make the important life decisions for you (and your children).  If you are scheduled for a trial, consider that your communication skills need improvement.  Consider that someone’s settlement position is made in bad faith and not considering what is in the children’s best interests.  Talk to your attorney and be realistic about your settlement demands and expectations.

Making lists help keep you focused and always ask questions – it is better to know than not know and doing the wrong thing will only cause you more stress and possibly more counsel fees.  If you and your spouse are having difficulty communicating, put that on the top of your list.   Be specific in your concerns with your attorney.  They can help you try and communicate better with your spouse.   These skills that you use going through your divorce will be valuable to you to manage and stay in control of your life after your divorce.

Take a deep breath – read the article and make your lists.  Then make the time to sit with your attorney and ask all the questions you have about the process.  If your attorney does not have the time to answer your questions, then maybe you have the wrong attorney.  You are paying for a service and are entitled to answers to your questions.

If you would like to schedule a consult with one of our experienced family law attorneys, please call us at 732-410-2308.

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